/jump bandwagon

I couldn’t think of any whine significant enough to write an entire post about it (you know…beyond every other post I’ve ever written). So instead you get a bulleted list of high-pitched, drawn out bitching – because if it won’t fill a post, it’ll always fill a bullet!

  • Troll women, with one exception, are hideous. Seriously. Why are all the face options warped and ugly and twisted? At least the orc women got TWO faces that aren’t the stuff of nightmares. AND the one female troll face that’s acceptable makes her look like a complete and total burn-out. Yes! I can’t wait to load up my stoned-out-of-her-mind shaman and OD on voodoo dust!
  • I don’t have enough time to do everything I’m supposed to do in WoW.
  • There are too many things I’m supposed to do in WoW, and not enough things (lately, anyway) that I want to.
  • Epic flying is prohibitively expensive, and everybody who tells me “just go run dailies” or “play the AH” can go DIAF. Dailies are time-consuming, boring, grind-fests and as I said above, there’s already too little time to do the shit I need to. Besides which, whatever money I’d make would just get funneled into repairs and professions anyway, because they, too, are needed.
  • I fucking hate bRez. There I said it. Is it an incredibly useful spell? Almost too useful. Can it mean the difference between a wipe and a win? 2 out of 3 times – it’s practically a new lease on life. But you know what else it does? It doubles my fucking repair bill. I die twice (three times when we had two druids for a while. Four when we had two druids and a warlock who couldn’t tell the fucking trees from the pally) for every death the rest of the party has – not counting deaths that don’t lead to wipes. Brez means I can’t afford my repairs because even if we’re winning fights, I’m still dying. Only now morale stays high because we win so nobody wants to quit and we can just run to the next fight. So even in terms of time I die more per night. Brez means half the raid has no idea I even died and they start shrieking over vent about why did I lose the boss and where the fuck is the tank (because the obvious answer if the boss starts running amok is that I suck and not that I’m dead). Brez mean stupid people look at Recount and demand to know why I’m dying so much compared to everyone else – because I’m the fucking main tank and you people are quite content to let me die but not to let me stay dead! Please, God, I’m begging you! I don’t want to come back! I’m happy on the floor! Just let the suffering end!
  • People who yell redundant things at other people who happen to know what they’re doing are fucking idiots. “HEEL M!E” or “TANK IT!” or “DPS NOWS!” are all good reasons for homicidal rampages. Trust me, you fucking child, the tank is tanking, the healer is healing, and the DPS are fucking DPSing because that is what they do. Christ. When is a DPS not DPSing, exactly? They can’t…not DPS. It just sort of happens when they push buttons, and if you’re in a raid, they’re either already maximizing their damage or don’t know how – in either case yelling does nothing but piss off a group of heavily armed and dangerous people. And if, for some reason, you notice your tank isn’t really taunting stuff off you, or your healer isn’t topping you off, maybe you should think about that for two seconds. I know it hurts, but try.
  • Fucking learn to spell. I’m not even joking. I’m not even asking for full sentences or, you know, basic grammar right now. Let’s start easy – baby steps and all that junk. Full words would be good. Stop dropping random vowels, reversing letters and giving up halfway through a word. u guuyz psi meo ff so mch it sunblivble
  • I can’t get the douche bags in my guild to take off their ass hats for even two seconds, and I can’t get the newbs to care enough about raiding/instancing to actually put some effort into improving outside of either bitching about how they can’t do the same DPS as the overgeared douche bags, or not saying anything at all and contentedly letting the rest of us carry them. They all give me the impression they’re miserable and unhappy with the set up and the group and the content, but God fucking forbid we need to cancel a night or reschedule or refuse to kick out so and so because somebody else doesn’t like her face and is convinced that she’s the reason we fail.
  • I also can’t seem to convince them that wipes are generally more complex than a single person’s suck. Generally it takes a few of us to wipe the group. I dunno, maybe you helped? Maybe you could pull your head out of your ass for two seconds to say “what could I have done differently?” instead of instantly criticizing everyone in a two-mile radius? If all of us did the former instead of the latter, I bet we’d improve a lot faster, because we’d all be worrying about ourselves and improving as players and so on and so forth. But, no. You’re right. Let’s all pick a blame partner instead. That way we never have to take credit for anything except victory and morale will never go down.
  • Why can’t I have access to all hairstyles on all races at the barber shop? Maybe I don’t want yet another non-BE with a BE haircut.
  • To all Human Males: I hate you very much when you take the male BE ponytail thing (any of the BE haircuts, actually, which tend to only look good on BEs). You know the one. You probably have it. So does Varian. You know what? Varian’s not cool. Neither are you. Get a crew cut.
  • I wish I didn’t need to play with people who’s play style and goals are diametrically opposed to my own in order to do the things I want to. Because in the end, I am realizing more and more, I may be in the places I want to be, but I’m doing sweet fuck all that I want to.
  • I don’t want to be hardcore. I don’t want to faceroll. I want a challenge, I want content that’s hard but doable with patience and effort and patience and actual fucking effort. I want people to stop overgearing as a solution for every wipe.
  • Just once I’d like to be able to ask someone else to explain the strat and not have half the raid to whisper me for clarification because they didn’t understand a god damned word of it. Try techniques like Chronological Order, and Instructions Specific to Each Role (as opposed to just, you know, yours). You know we have new people. Don’t reference Molten Core bosses, or say stupid shit like, “it’s just like doing Boss X in that raid I know 70% of you have never been to” and leave it at that.
  • People who hate gnomes suck. You make me :(. Gnomes are the best race ever and do not get nearly enough respect – not from the players and not from Blizzard. I hereby charge every Gnome out there to /follow anyone named any variation on “Gnomepunter” or “Gnomekiller”. Dance with them. Flirt with them. Lick them. Call to other gnomes in the area. Aggro on them until they’re afraid to put the word Gnome in their names for fear of a Gnome Swarm – make them fear the Gnome Swarm!
  • The fact that I have to go to work now also sucks. I’d much rather go home and curl up in my blankets and sleep. Alas, until Warcraft is playable for free, the job is required, or I’d probably have remarkably little to blog about here.

Happy Whiny Post Day!

…and, you know, St. Patrick’s Day for those who will be celebrating it. Leave the keys at home, folks! Take the Zep instead!