Tank to PuG:

What the tank says What the tank means What the PuG hears
Let me pull, please. :)* Pull before I’m ready again and I’m going to start getting really cheap with my taunts. gogogogogogogogogogogogo
Kill order is Skull – Cross – Square I would like you to kill the skull first, then the cross, then the square. If you can AoE – DOITDOITDOITNOW!!!1!!1!11

If you can’t AoE, kill the unmarked one, then the square, then the cross, then the skull.

Make sure to attack the web/frost tomb/snake wrap to free other party members. Why am I even talking? I know none of you are even going to notice the web/frost tomb/snake wrap. God I hope the healer doesn’t get it. Scream like a little girl if you get webbed/frozen/wrapped, but do not respond to the screams if it’s not you.

Especially don’t help the healer. They can heal through it.

If the tank gets webbed/frozen/wrapped, DPS harder because she’s not doing any threat right now so you have to make up for it.




If you can’t AoE, attack anything except the one I’m on. This will help me a lot because stuff will die faster and your DPS will be so awesome because you have a mob all to yourself and I would love you so much.

Oh no, my screen! It has frozen! Fuck this and fuck you.


lolololololol im not imba enuf 2 play w/u guys
Thanks for the group. DIAF. OMG U R SO 1337 I LUV U SO MUCH I WISH I WUZ AS UBR AS U R!

* Don’t be fooled by the smiley face. It’s a lie. If they have to tell you this, they’re not smiling. Tanks don’t smile.
**This is an archaic reference to a mechanic that has become unfortunately irrelevant to this game. Most PuGs these days won’t even know the acronym and I am not being the least bit sarcastic.

PuG to Tank

What the PuG says What the PuG means What the Tank hears
gogogogogogogo I am ready when you are. Actually I’m ready before you are. Actually, I’m ready now. Pull or I will. You do not want to party with me. I pull. I can’t understand a kill order or what it’s for. I like to AoE irresponsibly and misdirect on the healer and run into the boss before anyone’s ready then blame the tank when we die.

Bail. Bail now while you still can.

Link GS and achievements My gear score is 32, and I have achieved nothing in game or out. Mostly I am looking for a boost from higher geared, more experienced people.

In exchange, I will make the next thirty minutes of your life a living Hell.

I’m going to bend you over and do unpleasant things to you for the next thirty minutes, while I ride you to free badges and epics.
lololololololololololol oops I pulled the pat and the group behind it and the one on the side, and I am intelligent enough to realize that maybe I shouldn’t have, it’s just we all look so funny, lying here on the floor lifeless. What’s your repair bill at now, tank? 30g? 40?

LoL, hilarious.

I want you to kill me. I really do. Why else would I be this annoying? Please, put me out of everyone’s misery.

You could do it.

Just snap my neck. No one needs to know.

WTF? Only 40K HP? Noob, lrn to play! My big brother’s totally a raider. He did that yogurt-siren guy. I know all about raiding and tanking too. I totally do. You should listen to me. I’m smart and OP and awesome. I don’t know how to count and have no idea what I’m talking about.
Just heal through it. I don’t want to press any buttons that aren’t listed as part of my rotation on this website I read that tells me how to make the numbers on recount go up. That includes paltry things like cleanse, and sheep, and W, A, S, or D.

Those are the duties of a healing bitch. Do I look like a healing bitch? No. I am DPS, and I don’t give a damn about your “dispelling” and “cc” and “not standing in fire”.

I am a douche. Vote kick me.
Can I need for off-spec? I have already clicked need. Hope you’re a high roller, mother fucker.
Dibs on [EPIC X] off the second boss. I am in here for one thing and one thing only. I am ditching after the second boss whether he drops my shit or not.